How good was John Clarke? Some reflections on his poetics of tinkering
- Written by Robert Phiddian, Professor of English, Flinders University
In April this year, the Ukraine elected comedian Volodymyr Zelenskiy as its president, and the ABC reported on a sudden upsurge in Australian interest in something similar here. Many names came forward, but the only actually dead nominee with any significant support was John Clarke.
Clarke died in 2017. Still, there is no doubt that if alive, he would have been a popular choice, and a wiser one, in my view, than any of the men who have held the job in the past decade or so. At least we would be ruled by someone who knew how to begin and end a sentence. Surely deathless prose (even from the dead) is an improvement on an endless stream of nouns prefaced by “How good is …?”
But it is not exactly Clarke’s prose that I’m writing about here. It is his occasional parody verse (mostly from the 1980s and 90s), seen as a window on the creative genius of his command of language.
In particular, consider this ars poetica disguised as a poem about building a model plane by Fifteen Bosworth Longfellow, “an Adelaide academic who wrote instructions for kit-set model products”, from Clarke’s 2012 book of Australian verse:
MYER’S WHOPPERTake the pieces from the package,Lay them out as per the graph,Gathering the bits you’ll need,Removing what you shouldn’t have.With the implement providedEase the bearings to the left,Push the little angled mullionUp into the socket ‘F’.This will free the moulded bracketHolding back the nylon strand,Draw the slippery hoop and couplingThrough the right-hand rubber-band.Put the topside brown side outside,Push the inside upside down,Underneath the left-hand wingnut,Press the folding backward crown.Overlapping lifting side-flapsLower in to fit the screws,Pack up tools, retire to distance,Don protective hat, light fuse.
Clarke called his art tinkering, and it’s beautifully described by his daughter Lorin:
Some people’s dads spend hours tinkering in the shed. Our dad, John Clarke, borrowed the word but required only a desk and ‘gallons of tea’ for the kind of tinkering he did.

Authors: Robert Phiddian, Professor of English, Flinders University