10 Ways to Repair Your Broken Relationship
- Written by Samantha Ball
Relationships are amazing. Finding someone to share our life with — the highs and the lows — is pretty special. But what happens when the fire goes out and the relationship breaks down?
The good news is that even the most broken relationships can (and do) bounce back. Do you want to know how to repair a damaged relationship? You're in the right place. Here are ten ideas you can try:
1. Acknowledge your own role in the conflict
The first one is a big one. When we find ourselves in a conflict, it's natural to want to point out all the mistakes made by the other person. But how often do we take a step back to examine the part we're responsible for? In most cases, there are two sides to every conflict. Acknowledging the role you've played is a powerful way to start the healing process.
2. Prioritise kindness
Frustration. Anger. Sadness. Desperation. These are all common emotions people experience when going through relationship difficulties. Often, these negative emotions take over, making everyday interactions feel increasingly hostile.
Although these feelings are valid and it's essential to make space for them, try to do so from a place of kindness. Practise being kind to yourself and your partner. For example, it's possible to communicate your anger with compassion once you make that shift in your mind.
3. Ask questions
Get curious. Instead of making assumptions about the meaning behind your partner's words or actions, ask them. If your partner says something you don't understand, clarify what they mean rather than jumping to conclusions. Taking the time to understand your partner's perspective can help them feel heard, repairing your damaged relationship one conversation at a time.
4. Focus on the power of connection
When did you last take the time to connect properly with your partner? We get it — life is busy. Between work, hobbies, and other responsibilities, it can be hard to make time for each other. But if you want this relationship to work, it's crucial. Think back to when you first met. How did you spend your time together? What did you enjoy? When did you feel the most connected? Make more time for that.
5. Tackle the significant issues keeping you stuck
Most couples argue about the same things over and over again. Does that sound familiar? If you find yourself fighting about the same issues, commit to resolving them. Open the conversation with your partner away from an argument, and agree on some concrete actions you can take towards finding a resolution.
6. Don't expect perfection from your partner
Many of us hold our partners to a much higher standard than we do anyone else. But your partner has flaws, just like anyone else. Accept their imperfections while creating some boundaries around the issues that really matter in your relationship. Does your partner have a terrible memory, but you reminding them about important events drives you up the wall? Set up a joint calendar on your phone and agree to set reminders. For every problem, there's a solution!
7. Touch each other
When did you last touch your partner? We don't necessarily mean this in a sexual sense. When we touch people we love, whether that's a hug, a kiss, or something more intimate, our bodies release hormones in response. These hormones, such as oxytocin, make us feel good and improve our sense of connection. Give it a try!
8. Accept your differences
No matter how hard you try, it's unlikely you'll agree on everything. You're two individuals — with unique needs, hopes, and dreams. And that's okay; a healthy relationship is one that fosters that individuality. Work on accepting your differences and letting go of what you can't change.
9. Let your partner know you appreciate them
When was the last time you expressed gratitude for your partner? Despite everything you're going through, finding time to let them know you appreciate them can go a long way.
Try keeping a gratitude journal. When your partner does something or you remember something you appreciate about them, make a note about it. And then let them know.
10. Get help
Finally, if you're struggling to make any progress yourself, remember there's no shame in asking for help. We take our car to the garage when it's broken. We go to the hospital when we break a bone. If your relationship is damaged, there are people out there who can help you fix it. Don't be afraid to ask them for help if you need it.
Where will you start?
Rebuilding your relationship is a process. It will take time. Don't feel you have to rush in with all these strategies at once. Choose one to start with — which do you think resonated the most?
